SCANDAL // Randy, Red, Superfreak & Julia

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TGIT! Scandal is back, and so is Olivia.  Just like last night’s season premiere, I’m not going to waste too much time and just get right to it!  Here we go …

JULIA

First off, I love the fact that the episode literally started with a countdown.  Scandal starts in 3, 2, 1 … and cue beach.  There we find a curly crinkly haired black woman, named Julia Baker, reading Gone Girl.  Julia has obviously been using those African juices and berries found on the beach because her curls are poppin’.  Enter Noel (yes people, Scott Foley will forever be Noel) looking all ab’d out and scruffy!  He also looks like he lost a little weight.  How you wonder? Apparently he’s been listening to “Fight Night” by Migos … because within seconds his entire arm is up Olivia’s Julia’s skirt.  I may have screamed.  It ends quickly because along with her shipment of 27,384 bottles of wine (a week’s supply) there’s a letter informing her of Harrison’s demise.  #duh

I love how the SCANDAL title card had the beach behind it.  Good touch ABC.

RANDY, RED & SUPERFREAK

Like Spider-Man, Olivia Julia changes her look and turns into a different person.  I’m guessing she had someone aboard the flight to do her hair because clearly she’s not doing it herself.  Anyways, she and Noel go back to DC to plan Harrison’s funeral.  But first, she makes a stop at her old stomping grounds.  For some reason she was expecting balloons to drop from the sky but instead she returns to a dusty office.  Speaking of dusty, Quinn (aka: Superfreak) is there, and like the Ghost of Christmas Present, she’s here to show Olivia Julia what’s become of OPA.  *Sidenote: I don’t ever remember anyone referring to Olivia Pope & Associates as OPA.  Someone tell me if I”m wrong, but it took me a moment to figure out what the hell she was talking about.

First we stop by to see Huck (aka: Randy) who’s now working at a Data Shop.  I think it would’ve been more fun to see him doing something that wasn’t so obvious.  Couldn’t you see Huck working at Chipotle trying to make perfectly proportioned burritos?  Anyways, he’s not here for Olivia in any kind of way and basically shades the hell out of her.

Next, we go to see Abby (aka: Red) who’s moved on up as the White House Press Secrety.  Even more importantly, Abby looks BOMB!  I noticed last season that her make up & hair people really started putting in work, and they’ve taken it up a notch again this season.  She’s gone from looking like Pepper-Ann to a sophisiticated Jessica Rabbit.  Anyways, when she and Olivia meet things aren’t so harmonious.  Each of them are going for the jugular, throwing blame around for Harrison’s murder.  The best part of the fight, was Olivia’s strong & bouncy walk away.  That’s right, in that moment Julia was gone, and Olivia was back.

OLIVIA

After Olivia pounds away from the White House, she goes to meet Daddy Pope to pound down some wine.  **Sidenote, does Olivia ever drink out of normal sized wine glasses? or small flights?! Anyways, Daddy Pope LIES and tells her that he had nothing to do with Harrison’s death.  She believes him, maybe.  Then Daddy Pope tells Olivia that he murdered his baby’s mama because she was crazy.  Olivia was all #longhairdontcare and just went on about her dinner.

Hours later, she has a case.  An amazing, beautiful, talented woman shows up at her door (aka: my friend and fellow alum Kellan).  Said woman is the assistant to Senator Vaughn who has just killed another politician, Senator Sterling.  Apparently, he had it coming, because he’s a serial rapist, and Vaughn wasn’t having that.  It’s Olivia & Quinn to the rescue as OPA (???) comes back together to handle the cast.  The twist? It’s wasn’t Vaughn who killed Sterling, it was Kellan! She fell for the old “let me borrow your phone so I can look all up in your information” trick.  The case story in itself was cute … but I mean, we knew Olivia wasn’t going to need much to get her to come back to work.  As soon as she got back to DC it was clearly a done deal.

Randy, Red, Superfreak & Julia all came back together for Harrison’s funeral.  We also (snore) found out a little information (snore) about Harrison’s (snore) background.  Here’s the thing … did any of us even really like Harrison?!?! The show never did a very good job of having us connect with him or care about him.  So I’m sad that they’re sad, but I wasn’t the least bit sad about his dying.  Whatever … nice funeral tho, I guess.

By the end of the episode it looks like OPA (?!?!??!?!) is back together … and Olivia finally has a damn smart phone and is getting rid of that Blackberry.

MEANWHILE … AT THE WHITE HOUSE

Ellen’s wife is now on the show as RNC Chairman “Lizzie Bear.”  I’m not sure what her deal is, but I love her Janelle Monae hair.

Fitz is on a rampage, cleaning the entire house and hiring new people.  One of them being David “Dummy” Rosen, his nomination for Attorney General.

Mellie, well Mellie is an all out mess, but in the most possible way.  She’s mourning the death of her son by doing whatever the hell she wants to do.  Wearing UGGS, dirty clothes, messy hair, eating cereal.  She just don’t give a damn, and I’m here for it.  I do miss cutthroat Mellie, but I don’t mind this one at all for the time being.  Especially when she comes for Fitz so hard.

… AT LAST

Fitz and Olivia pass each other in the hallway.  They don’t make eye contact, they don’t touch, but the both have the “I’m gonna be all up in that soon” smile after they pass each other.

… and then because Shonda is smart, the SCANDAL end card has DC behind it, and the beach has disappeared.

MEMORABLE QUOTES

“..don’t open it, it’s a Pandoras box, you open that and bad things happen..” – Noel stating the obvious to Olivia

“..are you back for now or are you back for good?” – Huck to Olivia

“..it’s only day 2 for the shirt, and these panties are fresh from the dryer..” – Mellie living her life

“..do you validate a ticket for your broomstick or can you find your way out on your own?” – Cyrus throwing shade at Ellen’s wife

“..I’m sorry for your loss..” – Daddy Pope

“..as long as we’re back it’s his turn, despite the fact taht I’m the one you like to ride, that i’m the one that makes you moan, that i’m the one that reaches you in places he can’t begin to touch..” – Noel bragging about his dick game

“..we all know what happens next, we’ve seen this movie a hundred times..” – Cyrus pointing out he knows Fitz & Olivia will eventually be back together

“..dead kid, missing mistress, Mellie’s rape, Fitz’s suicide..” – Mellie, being Mellie

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