Happy Endings

By Funmi Sunmonu

“The Ex-Factor – Mark Paul Gosselaar guest stars, that’s all that matters”

The New Normal – Jane’s ex comes to town and it’s a major surprise to Brad when he discovers she’s a women – DA F**k?! Jane, I didn’t know you got down like that. Jane thinks Brad would be upset, but it’s 2013, Jane’s relationship with Ryan is the “new normal.” Brad wants to stay in, have dinner with Ryan and Jane and listen to sexy stories – which he hopes will lead to an awesome night aka – a threesome! Only Brad gets bothered by the news that Ryan and Jane were in love. At a second dinner with the exes – Brad invites a cute ex-girlfriend named Melissa. He’s gonna make Jane jealous. This dinner just turns out to be an awkward time for everyone involved.

Let’s hang out with my friends too – Penny’s new boyfriend Pete wants to hang out with his friends now that’s they’re a real couple, but Penny’s having a hard time understanding what that means. Nevertheless, she gives it a try, but it doesn’t go well. They don’t get her jokes… Penny doesn’t think they’re ahmazing.

Over in the complete underwhelming use of Mark Paul Gosselaar’s time – He’s Max new roommate, who Alex and Dave just end up chasing around the entire episode. What is happening? He’s incredibly funny; this is the best he could do?

Happy quotes
Jane: “Max, you can’t have disposable income when you owe us $11,000.”

(Side Bar: I LOVE HAPPY ENDINGS, I think it’s one of the best comedies on the air right now. But I have to say it’s been subpar. Lately I feel like I’m forcing myself to laugh at jokes that used to come naturally. The ratings suck and if more people don’t start watching, it’s almost certain ABC is going to cancel it. So let’s make sure Happy Endings goes back to season one funny!)

“The Lost One” – Last night’s episode of Happy Endings was part of the first season they never aired.

In “Kickball 2:” Alex wants to get the gang involved on her kickball team. Max, Brad and Dave argue over who can play better kickball and who “yips.” Meanwhile, Jane likes to win, so she’s not planning on playing with the gang. Instead she’s joined the auto body team and plans on kicking ASS.

Game Time – Penny shoes up to the game in 6′ inch heels. So… we an all pretty much guarantee team Xela (Alex spelled backwards)  is gonna lose? Alex sees how pathetic everyone is being so she decides to rally and things really get going! Xela wins 11-5. Up next champion ship game. Just when they think they’re up for the win, they lose. Awe. Sad face. Xela gets team shirts and play against team Ivanoy. They feel bad for the way they treated Dave, so even though they lost, they celebrate Dave’s rejoining the team and actually kicking the ball. Good for them. Ugh, there wasn’t even a single line that made me laugh. What is happening with Happy Endings?!

“Fowl Play/Date” – Alex walks into a diner with her racist parrot. All I could think about during this scene was that she had a wild bird in a food establishment, so forgive me for not hearing all of the conversation around the table. Thank god for Jane for addressing my concerns.

Everyone tries their best to do a long variation of the word CON. Does anyone else think that Casey Wilson has got an amazing voice? Homegirl can SANG! A dude from across the table wants to get in on their CON word play, but he just told them to, “Shut the F**k up.” Yay! My first LOL of the episode. This gonna be good!

Max is in a bad mood and he’s taking it out on his friends. Jane and Dave decide that he needs to get laid, so he’ll be happier. So they decide to let Max choose which guy he’ll chose. My money’s on Jane because she always wins.

Over at the Alex/Dave household, Brad and Penny are helping Alex on her send off to the CON when they get into a fight over Brad’s memorabilia. Penny accidently back into the side table and breaks Alex’s favorite ceramic handprint. Did anyone else notice Brad’s hilarious reaction to his tape dropping on the floor? I swear, this entire cast is funny, but Damon Wayans steals the scene every time.

Brad and Penny find glue to fix the broken plate. While they’re dancing over their success, the racist parrot gets into the glue and dies. Opps… Me thinks Alex isn’t going to be to happy with that when she gets home. They try to figure out how to fix the situation and ponder what Kerry Washington would do on Scandal — Uh, I LOVES the Scandal shout out! Peeps — watch that show! In the words of Penny, it’s AH-mazing.

Brad and Penny try to hide Tyler aka racist parrot’s real cause of death by pretending he fell out a window… yea… normally I would say that they’re not going to get away with that stupid plan, but they’re dealing with Alex – so they probably will.

Meanwhile, neither Jane nor Dave wins because Max doesn’t pick either. He finds his own guy he likes, named Marcus. Put Jane and Dave ruin his date.

Brad and Penny can’t deal with their guilt over dead Tyler and come clean to Alex. She’s angry of course, but it turns out Tyler died from alcohol consumption. Turns out, Alex is really the one who killed him. Oh Well.

Happy quotes

Random diner patron: “Shut the F**k up!”

Brad and Penny: “Ahh.. A Witness!” (In unison over realizing the racist parrot knows what they’ve done.)

Penny: “He said I broke… the glass ceiling. That’s right! I’ll climb that corporate ladder in a skirt, and I don’t care who looks up it, cause I keep my yard tighty and those are my choices! You know equality!”
Max: “I plan on winein’ dinein’ and 79in’ and yes, in case you’re wondering, that IS 10 better!”

Jane: “God, his name sounds black, which is the only thing I like about it, but otherwise I hate that guy.”

“Cazsh Dummy Spillionaires” – Dave and Alex are back together, Penny finds herself in a full body cast and Brad is pretending to be out of work.

From my previous post on some of my favorite Happy Ending quotes, I’m sure you are all aware that I was very happy and excited to have this show return tonight. So let’s get started!

Last we see Dave and Alex, they were hanging out in a hotel room. It seemed as though it was going to lead to reconciliation. Tonight, Dave and Alex announced to the group they were “cazsh” dating. Okay, Dave and Alex… we’ll see how long that’s going to last. Looks like we don’t have to wait long because it turns out, after Alex tried to prove her point by setting Dave up with the “Hot ass ho” bartender who was flirting with, the idea of him, “Having sex and falling in love” made her jealous. Dave also realized after hearing, “Wendy Williams said something on her show that really resonated with me. She said, “Girl, you cannot move backwards in a relationship.” So ladies and gentleman, despite what we may want right now, Dave and Alex are back together!

Meanwhile Brad and Jane are happy go lucky, or so Jane thinks. She thinks Brad’s still out of work, enjoying time off to really relax and do things he never had time to do before. She even found his SinBrad ventriloquist dummy for him to play with! However, Brad has been lying to Jane and got a new job. How hard do you all laugh, when Brad was like, “I’m back!” and did his little Brad dance? He SLAYS ME! Brad had to keep up his whole charade so Jane wouldn’t find out. How funny was that Skype convo in his office, when he put a blanket over his suit and had the backdrop of their apartment behind his desk? LOL. He sure is going through a lot of effort for Jane not to find out. Only she does when she calls to see how his day is going and he says he’s taking a bath. Jane decides to rush home and join him only to catch him in his lie. Poor, Brad – his hot naked wife was ready to get it in, but he pissed her off to much. In the end, Brad realized that he did need time to relax and figure out what he really does want to do. In the meantime, he has SinBrad!

Penny and Max are spending quality bestie time together. Penny was on an adventures date with Brain Austin Green and they were supposed to jump off a building together. Only she couldn’t do it out of fear. While walking down a flight of stairs, Penny tripped and ended up in an upper body cast. LOL. Max found her physical therapist hot so he drugged Penny and invited the physical therapist over to work on him. Oh, Max – you can’t do that to Penny! Not cool!

Favorite Happy Ending quotes:
Brad: SinBrad! What’s up my dude? Oh no you didn’t!
Brad: I’ll just be here chillin’ all day, thinking bout’ you, thinking bout’ me, thinking bout’ you getting’ naked.
Brad: That girl so wack, her first name should be Nick Nack Patty–aaaHhhhoooooooo! – Favorite line of the whole episode!
Penny: I can’t believe you’ve been holding me hostage in my own body cast. You’re “Misering” me!
Max: You’re right. I don done you dirty. I done done done you dirty and I’m sorry.
SinBrad: (Brads ventriloquist dummy) Ain’t no fun if the homies can’t have none.

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